


Know Your Potions

by trekkiepirate



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Multi, OT3, pure sweet fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24361096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trekkiepirate/pseuds/trekkiepirate
Summary: Based on this series of tumblr posts:https://trekkiepirate.tumblr.com/post/618594021249613824/geralt-and-yennefer-play-a-thrilling-game-of-knowand this video of Joey and Anya being ADORABLE:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AC9QNZkqF0I REGRET NOTHING
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 9
Kudos: 109





	Know Your Potions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ruffboi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruffboi/gifts).



Geralt was ready when his daughter and partners strode in after training.

Ciri kissed his cheek and went to bathe while Yennefer and Jaskier wandered over to the table. Exchanging confused looks.

“Know your potions?” Yennefer asked, eyes cutting back to Jaskier. She and Geralt would play that game, but it had been significantly less fun when they realized their beloved bard had no self-preservation instincts and would just down whatever he saw first when he was in a state.

There were always antidotes nearby, just in case.

“Similar,” Geralt said as he gestured for them to sit. “There’s no poison here.”

“That is exactly what someone would say if there was poison there,” Jaskier said, a sage nod accompanying his words.

Yennefer rolled her eyes and shot Geralt the ‘why do we love this moron’ look. 

“If you,” he addressed Jaskier, “want to join in our fun so much; I thought it would be best if we devised a game where you don’t actually have a chance to die.”

Jaskier scoffed. “Like you two would let me die.” He sat, pulling Yennefer to sit at his side. "Rules?”

“Guess what is in each vial.” Geralt said.

“Winnings?” Yennefer asked.

Geralt hmmed. He hadn’t thought that far.

Jaskier wiggled his eyebrows and was about to speak when Yennefer placed a hand over his mouth without looking. “How about- you can lick my palm all you want, bard, I’m not letting go- how about a month of no chores? No training, no cleaning, no repairs.”

“Done,” Geralt nodded and Yennefer released Jaskier’s mouth.

“Sexual favours were right there for the asking,” Jaskier pouted at her.

An elegant eyebrow arched. “As if you two have ever refused me any favours in bed.”

Jaskier pursed his lips and tilted his side to the side then back up, acknowledging the truth of her words. “All righty then,” he turned back to the vials and rubbed his hands together.

Geralt went to fetch a chair as Yennefer and Jaskier pointed and debated what might be inside the vials from looks alone. He sat. “Begin.”

They each took a vial and unstoppered it, bringing it close to smell it.

“Okay what do you- ohhhh,” Jaskier’s face screwed up in distaste. “I don’t wanna touch this.” He brought it close and sniffed it again.

“Don’t smell it,” Yennefer gently moved his hands away.

“No you’ve got to,” Jaskier replied. “It’ll help us work out which one it is.”

Yennefer frowned at his logic and together they drank. Her mouth twisted. “It tastes like-“

“It tastes like feet.”

“That’s,” Yennefer grabbed Jaskier’s wrist as she began to laugh, “pickle juice. It does,” She continued giggling so hard she actually squeaked. “It does taste like feet.”

Geralt’s heart warmed at her laughter and he exchanged a loving look with Jaskier. For all the convoluted ways in which she worked, Geralt thanked Destiny at this moment for the two laughing people in front of him.

Gathering themselves, they grabbed the second vials.

“Shall we shake it?” Yennefer asked, already doing so.

Jaskier just drew his arms up towards his chest and bounced in his seat, swaying slightly.

Yennefer smiled even as she said, “You’re an idiot.”

Jaskier just winked at her as he brought the uncorked vial to his nose.

“I’m not smelling it,” she said, having learned her lesson.

“I’m getting nuances of oak,” Jaskier said, as lofty as if he were a wine buyer.

Yennefer smiled at Geralt, who was pleased with the silliness of the game.

“One, two, three, bottoms up babe,” she said, tilting the liquid into her mouth.

Jaskier, who had taken a larger swig just spluttered before leaning his head back. “Mother of-“ he blew out a loud breath.

“That’s vodka and pepper,” Yennefer said, no hesitation.

“Yeah,” Jaskier agreed even as he continued trying to clear his throat, “that’s what that is. Can we keep these?” He looked over at Geralt.

The Witcher shook his head. “Just move on to the next.”

The next vials they clicked together in a toast.

“Oh shouldn’t have smelled it,” Jaskier said, “should not have smelled it.” He was quiet once he’d taken his swallow, face twitching.

“That’s like watery cold soup.” Yennefer brightened as the idea came to her, “That’s like stock!”

Geralt nodded. Stock was close enough to the boiled honey and onion mixture. He wasn’t about to spend more time in the kitchen concocting these things than necessary. Eskel had nearly caught him and he was relatively certain Lambert had.

There would be mocking at dinner; Geralt was sure of it.

“Okay, so I’m fairly sure this one’s the poison,” Jaskier was saying when Geralt returned his attention to the here and now. “One of these is poison,” he smiled at Geralt, "This is the one that's going to kill me. I leave my lute to you, Geralt as well as every song ever sung in your honour. That you may hear my voice whispering along the winds even after I have departed this mortal plain because you were playing silly buggers.”

Yennefer grinned. “What do I get?”

Jaskier dropped his sighs and faraway stare. “Literally everything else I own. You’ll actually make good use of it.”

“I’ll have Sabrina sew me a dress from your doublets, so I can keep you close.”

“That’s,” Jaskier’s eyes widened, “have you actually thought about this?”

Yennefer shrugged. “You’ve only got, what, 10 or 15 good years left?”

Jaskier pressed a hand to his heart and huffed a few times as he worked up his response. “I am, I’m only, how old, how very dare you, darling. I will live for many more decades still, assuming Geralt does not actually poison me.”

Geralt frowned at the implication he ever would.

“Don’t look so indignant, you’ve threatened it before, Witcher.”

“Not since we started fucking.”

Jaskier shook his head and looked at Yennefer. “How did we fall in love with this oaf? He’s so unromantic.”

Yennefer stared up at the ceiling as if in thought. “Well, Destiny has bound us together and Geralt disguises his feelings in rude words because he has the emotional sensitivity of a dead drowner.” She turned back to glance at Jaskier then Geralt. “Also he has the most magnificent cock on The Continent.”

“He does at that,” Jaskier sighed dreamily.

“The game?” Geralt prompted, hoping they’d stop with the analysis of his character and body.

Jaskier’s attention jumped from Geralt’s lap to his face. “Oh yes, I have no idea.”

Yennefer just grabbed the next vials in the lineup, passing one to Jaskier.

“This is alcoholic,” Jaskier said. “I feel it in my hedonistic soul.” He tilted the vial to make the red liquid bleed more into the clear. “This is very Witchery, isn’t it?” Jaskier lifted the vial to his nose.

“You’re ruining it for yourself,” Yennefer commented.

Jaskier grinned unrepentantly, “I’m ruining it for everyone.”

She laughed as she sipped.

“Oh I got a lot of that,” Jaskier’s voice was strained.

For her part, Yennefer just screwed up her face and made a disgusted sound.

Jaskier coughed. “That’s gonna put hair on-“

“More hair,” Yennefer nodded to the copious amount of chest hair already on display through the open neck of his shirt. It was not a particularly chaste look.

“Yes, all right darling, MORE hair on my chest,” Jaskier fussed with the neckline and looked down at himself, as if to catch the hairs sprouting.

Yennefer snickered. “Is that vodka as well?” At Geralt’s nod, she continued on, “That’s vodka with,” she trailed off trying to find the proper names of things, “chili. That’s chili vodka,” she smiled in triumph.

“I’m gonna have a nap after this,” Jaskier was muttering as he picked up another vial.

He swallowed and then spluttered.

Yennefer had sipped and groaned. “Oh my god. Medicine. Medicine for coughs. Ugh,” she put hers down and looked at Jaskier, still coughing.

“Not effective,” he gasped through the coughing and the laughter. “Unless you want to create coughs, then it’s a star.”

“Did we have the same one?” She looked at hers, dark as drying blood and then took Jaskier’s while he folded himself down to put his forehead on the table. She smelled it. “No,” was all she said, putting it down again. “No.”

“Look can we, can we have this,” Jaskier wasn’t finishing sentences, which was always a sign he was losing it. “Can this just be water? What happened to tea, Geralt? Simple normal tea?”

Geralt had stopped trying to hide his smile as he watched his lovers being ridiculous. This was well worth any ribbing Lambert would undoubtably put him through later.

Jaskier laughed, shaking the vial he held, imitating Yennefer. He tilted his chin up to indicate Geralt. “Look at that smile on his face. It’s a mixture of pity and pride,” he downed the liquid.

Yennefer drank and immediately bent forward, breathing deeply in between curses.

“I like it,” Jaskier shrugged.

Geralt counted one of Jaskier’s heartbeats.

“OH NO I DON’T,” Jaskier’s already big blue (beautiful) eyes widened almost comically.

“Very strong,” Yennefer muttered a few times.

Jaskier blew out a breath. “Oh that, that stays with you. It’s like,” he looked at Yennefer, head turned to him, “it’s like a mint has been mutated. Did you Witcher a herb, Geralt? Did you?”

Yennefer shook her head. “Let’s just finish this.”

They reached for their last two vials and each downed them.

“That’s nice,” Yennefer said, smiling at Geralt. “Like a candied cherry in liquid form.”

“Glad we ended on that one,” Jaskier hummed happily.

Yennefer turned to Jaskier. “Another sip?”

Jaskier clinked his vial to hers. “Yeah fuck it,” he raised it to Geralt. “Cheers! Thank you for putting up with our nonsense.”

“As if this wasn’t his intent all along,” Yennefer threw back the last of the brandied cherry juice and slinked over to sit on one of Geralt’s knees, arms around his neck.

With decidedly less grace but heaps more enthusiasm, Jaskier planted himself on the other leg, leaning in to kiss Geralt sweetly.

Geralt savoured the cherry taste but pulled back when Jaskier went to deepen the kiss. “Not until you rinse out your mouth.”

“You did this,” Jaskier raised an eyebrow as he shared a long look with Yennefer, their faces having a whole conversation.

“We’re mixing them all together,” Yennefer said, nosing at Geralt’s ear. “And then we’re gonna make you drink it.”

Geralt frowned. “What? No.”

Jaskier purred, “Oh yes indeed. Turnabout, our dearest Witcher, is-“

“-fair play,” Yennefer continued, smiling at Jaskier as she placed a hand on Geralt’s chest, her touch light but the magic she used heavy as a stone.

Eyes widening, Geralt struggled against her spell, even though he knew it was useless. “No, Yen, no.”

Jaskier, who had apparently been taking slinking lessons from Yennefer after all, poured all the vials into a nearby tankard and brought it over, wrapping a hand in Geralt’s hair and tilting his head back.

Normally the hair pulling was one of Geralt’s favourite bedroom moves but now he just pleaded up at Jaskier, trying to look penitent and sad. “Jaskier, please don’t, please.” He paused. “Darling?”

Jaskier paused and held the mug out to Yennefer. “He petnamed me. I can’t. I’ll hold him but I can’t make him drink that swill.”

Yennefer grinned. “That’s what you have me for, pet,” she stood, hand tracing along the muscles of Jaskier’s arm until she was grasping the tankard. “To dole out punishments when needed,” she caught Jaskier’s mouth, kissing him deeply, uncaring of the various vile things they had both consumed still lingering on his tongue. “And our Geralt,” she smirked at Jaskier’s dazed and worshipping stare, “needs to be punished for doing such a silly, silly thing to us for his own amusement.” She kissed Jaskier again before pulling back.

Geralt’s lips clamped tight, but Jaskier’s other hand gripped his chin roughly until Geralt had to open his mouth.

Yennefer fed him the mixture, thumb stroking his throat to make him swallow.

“What the fuck are you three doing?”

Jaskier and Yennefer both shot up, innocence painted all over their faces.

Geralt was bent double, coughing and trying to unswallow the vile liquid.

Yennefer slipped the cup to Jaskier, gliding across the floor to their daughter. “Your father needed some medicine and he didn’t want to take it.” She threw an arm around Ciri’s shoulders and guided her out of the room. “He doesn’t really like the taste of his own medicine. Let your dad take care of him. Let’s go visit Triss and Sabrina. I’ve been meaning to pick up a book…” her voice and Ciri’s responses dulled to a gentle murmur before vanishing.

Geralt straightened and looked up at Jaskier.

“Don’t you give me those big doe eyes, mister,” Jaskier said, going to the window and tossing the rest of the liquid out with a wince. “You made your own bed and you’re lucky we’ll still share it.”

“I was just,” Geralt shrugged, rubbing at his jaw, “trying to make something that you two would enjoy. She likes guessing correctly, you like trying new things.”

Jaskier put his hands on his hips. “We know that. Which is why you only had two swallows instead of the whole tankard. But honestly, some of it was VILE, Geralt."

Geralt stood and strode over to Jaskier, arms going around his waist on instinct. “I liked watching the two of you laughing so much.”

Trying to be stern lasted for less than a second before Jaskier grinned. “I liked seeing you smile so much. And our Yen, did you hear that squeak? How can she be beautiful, lethal, and adorable all at once? It’s not fair. Do you think they teach it at Sorcerer School? I’m going to ask Triss.”

Geralt laughed heartily, Jaskier’s eyes going impossibly fond.

“You know she is going to punish you some more tonight,” Jaskier said, no trace of question in his tone.

“Oh really,” Geralt deadpanned. “I wouldn’t have guessed. What a complete and total shock. I am overcome,” his smile formed halfway through his words as Jaskier started giggling.

“You’re an idiot,” Jaskier said, kissing Geralt lightly. “My favourite idiot.”

Geralt kissed along Jaskier’s jawline, “You’re my favourite idiot too. Both of you.”

Jaskier hummed in his throat. “I’m telling Yen you called her an idiot.”

“Cruel.”

Jaskier shrugged. “One of us needs to stay on her good side.” He kissed Geralt lightly. “Now really, what the actual fuck was the mint one? Did you actually Witcher a herb? Can you Witcher a herb? How exactly does one get Witchered?” He let Geralt lead them to the bedroom, still chattering.

Yennefer’s laughter and strong hands. Jaskier’s jokes and loving looks. Geralt was going to keep the memory of this day in his heart for the rest of his long life. No song required.

Jaskier wrote one anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what things are and aren't in The Witcher universe so I just went straight with what they were from the video.


End file.
